Lastly, just like the man, a woman desires respect from her man too. Bravo.Mashallah.this is the thoughts of a regular muslim guy. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Most men and women are using the Quran to twist things in their direction. Views : Term of Use | Privacy Policy | Adchoices | Disclaimer, 17 Islamic Rules for Second Marriage You Must Know. I did ask him, dies your wife respect you? Is she loyal to you? you have 2 kids so sex must not be an issue, so why did you cheat? He gives me blatant excuse such as wanting to do something different. And seek only to please Allah subhana watala. It is narrated from Imm as-diq (as): Three ladies went to the Prophet (S) to complain. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. honestly if he just cant, he cant. We were both widowed. There needs to be an article about what men can do for their wives bcz Im sick and tired of reading any more tripe as to how I can better serve a man. . form a relationship with a non-mahram man. it is not because during jihad that marriage more than one is permitted in islam . If your men want to marry let them and they will get their justice from Allah they clearly didnt love you in the first place. I want to marry and be in halal relationship but looks like men only looking for friendship with benefits. It just means hes human.It is very important that you understand this. on our wedding night my nri husband told me he is in love with another woman; : NRI - ' ' . Fourth, never EVER speak about what happened between you to anyone else. could be in the good situation in which you are, but you do not appreciate One of the ways in which you can ward off these devilish Am I guessing right to say he is not legal in your county ? Allah is watching and the almighty will give you strength and courage. There is no hadith which states that the husband must ask his wives premssion. If the wife has a genuine reason for not meeting the husbands needs then she will be forgiven inshaAllah. I feel. And why would I when I love my wife. You have a nerve to say all men want another woman at some time. It is a secret bond and divorce is strongly discouraged by Islam. And Allah Knows Best. Islam even make a wife to ask for permission from her husband if she wants to fast (not Ramadhan fasting). Jazaakallahu khayran. According to Talmudic law, Abraham had 2 wives, and Solomon had hundreds of wives. All the ladies grown up in west (myself included) like to think men and woman have the same rights ( I am not saying every body but there are some) . But if a Muslim prays istikhaarah with regard to It is with this layout of rulings that it is hoped that man and woman will come to love one another, hence making the marriage peaceful, fulfilling, and enjoyable. Why is a man allowed to marry more than one wife in Islam? said to her: Enter Paradise from whichever of the gates of Paradise you How can he trust you if you And of course if a woman is not able, then its only logical she doesnt have to have intercourse, just think common sense, not everything has to be explained in detail for you. husband, then in fact she is praying istikhaarah about wrecking her home and i used to kiss his feet,smell his pillow n shirts ,took care of his mom n welcomed his relatives.n now theres nothing but hurt n ppl tell me to 4give.HELL!!! Allaah has made the wife a covering for her husband and has made the husband a covering for his wife. I am an educated older woman. Wel then his only after one thing isnt he This kind of cases are very common among Muslims you can search it o. This article is informative. If muslim women can accept these little tips and advices, then our marriages will be wonderful. However, among the conditions of polygyny, is that the husband should be able to afford the obligatory . Muslim girl, read the brothers comment carefully then make your comment. firmly either to do it or not to do it. But not when normal conditions exist. All people (expect those nonhumans) deserve respect. Just make sure you know yours before getting involved with someone and be honest and to show your intentions. The hadith is not carte blanche for a man to come every night and request sex and then when refused hold this over her head. i dream of being able to respect my husband but i must admit over the years i feel that respect i had for him is declining Ive stayed loyal despite our circumstances. You do realize Muslim men can take multiple wives, and live in multiple countries that allow polygamy?. You men are so full of your selves. Give them a life of good and worth living. But sisters. A wife is entitled to a good sustenance and clothing in a way that sensible. Thanks. His excuse that he needed someone to look after his parents is interesting, to say the least. This is the first time in the 20 years that I have known him where I have been at a loss for words. @Kay: can u provide some Daleel (proof) for your statements.I would love to examine them. Source: I am sure it is in the context that husbands should try to coax their wives, instead of saying lets go. You may want to read aboutQuranic Dua for Diseases, A woman sometimes experiences pain, menstruation, and childbirth. Just so you know amongst those good humans are the good MUSLIMS. Allah knows best! If a man refuses to consider his wifes sexual pleasure, along with being a jerk, he will have to answer to Allah for his neglect The consistent and constant advices to women to be patient when husbands are complete failures is ridiculous and getting really tired in 2016. ALLAH knows about us more then we know our on self. Alhamduliallh. So what ..its his right to do so 2,3 or 4. 8. full, without reckoning By Abu Ibrahim Ismail Please advise me. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. An outrage. else who is also married or not married? to continue to have any place in your life. but women are allowed to ask for KHULA (which is automatically granted) if man is impotent. The article asks women to respect their husbands but the final point says if he doesnt say I love you its alright, he still loves you. Thats what life is. In Islam, marriage is a solemn contract for which the Shari`ah lays down rules and arrangements to guarantee its stability. What makes a man leave his wife for another woman Also, there was and probably always be more women in the world than men, so technically you are leaving some poor Muslim sister without a loving husband to care for her. also i think you should know that. Asian women are used to this and don't see anything wrong with it. If she is married, then such a However, this is not the only opinion or interpretation of how to do this. I will appreciate that. We do not live in fairy tales, our husbands are not prince charming, their real men with real needs, desires, and yes even emotions just like us. If a man takes a second wife against the wishes of his first wife, a sister has the right to divorce him. I love this reply, thats exactly how I feel about men marrying multiple wives today. There was an immediate connection between us. Must be wise in facing the jealousy of women. O ye who believe! Thats extremely difficult these days. It was a woman recently divorced, 4 children. A businesswoman, Mrs. Tomi Harrison (not real name), said she contemplated suicide when her husband informed her of his plans to marry a second wife. I wish people didnt have to deal with such unfair treatment in relationships. Masha Allah, Quite an informative and interactive forum. interests and desires? Its halal but the man has to live up with it. In Islam, marriage is a civil contract. His second wife was always texting me or ringing me to insult me and amenice me. You mean rapeee!??? You may want to read about Rights of Bride in Islam, Who has two wives then leans to one of the two (unfairly) then he will come on the Day of Judgment in a state next to his side. (Abu Dawud), A man that has an ability of material things and he can be fair to his wives. WE HAVE BEEN STUDYING THIS SUBJECT ABOUT MORE THEN ONE WIFE. 1 - Her husband's marrying another wife is regarded as a test and trial for her, and if she bears that with patience she will have the reward for being patient in the face of a trial, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning" [al-Zumar 39:10] ruling can be based. I am a white English revert sister, who was raised Catholic my whole life before coming to Islam, so I know I am fighting my ingrained culture when I feel instinctively against it. should be noted that many marriages that are based on love are doomed to My husband divorced me during menses 11 years ago. However, if the man wants to marry after the second, Islam limits in it. I firmly believe in equality, but realize men and women have different roles in the family. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. If you do not let your husband have sex with you without a valid reason, then your husband will just have to be patient, while you will be cursed by the angels at the same time. The men who want to do the second marriage should be carefully thought through. For shame! 660. However sex is the biggest right of man in marriage. Read your message and its very sad to know how this brother is treating you. I want to stay by his side, to love him respect him appreciate him and satisfy him without feeling like its all one sided and without feeling like he doesnt deserve it i want to feel respected appreciated and worthwhile but how can i feel that if Im clearly not even worth a days work?? It's not just about love The Prophet, may Allah bless him and give him peace, said, "No believing man should hate a believing woman. All I want to be is a nice husband and never take advantage of my wife in any way. One day my brother told me that someone he knew is looking for a wife. May Allah bless your marraige and everybody elses. Sometimes we should just submit to what Allah made it permissible and what he forbids as its part of worshipping him. A female child can fight the germs and diseases better than the male child. Your husband is then forbidden from a 2nd wife unless he wants a divorce. Good question. but Allah ordered it in quran, the order of allah is justice because islam is full. Sex when he wants even if the woman doesnt?? But if she refuses, only then will she be punished. good points you wrote, but in reality, you havent married. Dora, I understand that it seems like a contradiction (the husband trying to make wife happy but taking another wife) but remember that this is a something a man is allowed to do in Islam. I like to watch tv on the rare times Im not not being called for surgery. remember he is her wali not the other way around. Today, if any western research say that dont refuse your husband for sex if he wants to and researcher may give any xyz reason, then it will not be ridiculous and unsettling part of Islam. Hindus are more polygamous than Muslims The report of the Committee of The Status of Woman in Islam, published in 1975 mentions on page numbers 66,67 that the percentage of polygamous marriages between the year 1951 -1961 was 5.06 among the Hindus and only 4.31 among the Muslims. The USA as a whole has more than twenty-five million gays. Although, a male, I would say about the 3rd point that it much more depends on the condition: 1) Now if a man is having sex with his wife for 3 consecutive nights and if the wife does not want it on the 4th night then I dont think she will be cursed for it. Dn I am pregnant after my second daughter he kept her in rented house dt women already married n she have 5 year boy baby with first husband she kept relationship with my hubby n after along 5 years she get divorced with 1st husband now she staying with my hubby n she got 1 baby by my hubby. this young man and has made him attractive to you so that he may achieve Earlier, there was no restriction even on Hindu men with respect to the number of wives allowed. Jazakallakh khier for this article and previous articles. Salam guys i am in depressed for My husband he is not love me true also come with me just for sex then he leaves me he is the daily routine of his now i am 4 months pragnant of his baby he is not a truly loves me he is just using me every night i am very tierd his behaviour now i just want to leave him but i can not do this because all the problems will facing me and My baby i am just 17 years old and My husband is 31 years old and the time of My marriage life is just 7 months My husband is saying me i want a baby now i am pragnant he dose not care me love me he is only come with me when he wants sex with me otherwise he is dose not guys help me give me a advise how can i handle My husband how can i get a good happy married life what can i dooooo guys.??? ALLAH is great. I was nervous the day of the meeting. You have the free choice to decide. A week after he came back, he told me that he had got married in Egypt. What a dumb thing to mention. I would like to adress the author regarding 4th point. His answer he said, will be dependent on her acceptance of Polygamy. sister Fatima, May ALLAH forgive you. remember allah never brings more to a person they can cope with or carry. Allah knows best of this world. Also, there are more women than men. Imaan will give you the strength you need to overcome the problems in your life and deal with things you are unhappy with. You said a man is not allowed to marry a 2nd without the first PERMISSION. This quick list is for the Muslim sisters in my audience. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Where is their father? I asked, Cant he take care of his own kids? All he used to do was he was busy in his own world. For some women, polygamy is a deal breaker no matter. Try to investigate on him. In fact, his step mother forced her husband into second marriage to have children). You cannot say Im a muslim but I dont agree to polygamy. I have been married to a Pakistani man (we did nikah). 4. I really enjoyed it and may Allah bless the author,amin. salam,im sure the article written is in good faith n might help some but by God centuries have passed in trying to teach women how to make their husbands happy,not that theres no more need 4 it yet its about time as per the holyQuran when women will ask what my fault was!!! This answers the question directed to the authoR. Id rather get a divorce form my husband than allow him to be married to another person. I agree with you 100% Kay. Well you should about that before gething married then, would you rather him go to someone else. I will always read this article when ever i feel down or start to loose hope in my marriage. You have the right to your happiness and to be treated with respect. As in one of the hadith below is one of the stories how the Prophet SAW fair to his wives. since its Allahs will and polygamy is halal. STOP BEING SELFISH LADIES.HELP UR MUSLIMS SISTERS TO HV DIGNITY N PRIDE IM A MARRIED WOMANI WOULD ALLOW MY HUSBAND TO REMARRY IF HE DOES THAT WITH A SOLID REASON WHICH CONNECTED TO ALLAHS WILL.ILL MAKE SURE HE WOULD FOLLOW THE RULES N REGULATION IN A POLYGAMYESPECIALLY THE NAFKAH PARTWHERE SEXUALLY N FINANCIALLY SUPPORT R CONCERNED..IF NOT I WOULD SEE THE KADHI TO CLAIM MY RIGHT what I have noticed from the hadith When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning. Now move from in front of the television and go make me a sandwich. (ii) Mustahab i.e recommended or encouraged, (iv) Makruh i.e not recommended or discouraged. We do not like our father to have another wife, women also hate their husbands to marry again but thats because it is no longer part of todays lifestyle in many societies but if people get used to it as for example if every one have more than a wife then it will not be a big deal I think. Some points made in this article are good,but that does not justify being sexist!All men think about having another wife? Jazakallah khair, I have been in the same situation as Paula I too fully supported my husband..he controlled passwords to my phone ipad etc. Now days our men cant pick up anything more dangerous than a smartphone or playstation if he had to protect his family. However, he would have failed to give her own right, and fulfilling the right of a muslim is an obligation, as such, he would have committed a sin. is what is good, but if he waits until he feels good about it or sees a You cant know this because no one knows whats in the mind of every man. love you or does he love himself and is only looking out for his own Do not cherry pick what suits you, this is exactly the problem we Muslims are facing, cherry picking what suits us rather than taking Deen as a complete way of life. Thank you for making it clear, I was already shocked by the comments 0.0. of Abu Saeed and Abu Hurayrah. You may want to read about50 Akhlaq of Prophet Muhammad SAW. First ray of real light Ive seen in these sad and depressing comments. That my way is a little cliche, and sterotypical but none the less, he still loves me. Wife, lover, mother, doctor, housekeeper. Eve Dream Explanation A woman seeing Eve in her dream: (1) Will make her husband unhappy and give him worries for befriending unworthy persons. Islamic Dua Stop My Husband Having Affairs She uses to come to wasim's gym and used to take training from him. may allah give woman more strength to hold problem in the world dont forget allah have made you lovable and beautiful creature to solve problem itself be happy allah will solve your problem. I completely agree. I could not find the name of the author for this article. But you cant force him. Because deep down, we really just want to make you happy. then how can he accept to destroy the home of his Muslim brother and split There are several other reasons, why Islam has permitted limited polygyny, but it is mainly to protect the modesty of women. Above All, He Desires Your Respect I am not certain were in the world you are situated but living in the west and all of the Sexual propaganda that we are bombarded with is a great fitna. Dont keep threatening him with words, you need to show you mean it and do it. Anxiety is the devils weapon. He came to my brothers house to see me. nobody is forcing anyone luv. 3) Its one of the things that will actually also keep the man satisfied. Men are using their own ways of thinking to have more than one wife but there will always be one wife he will like more or give something more to. It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair. Let not your possessions and your children forsake you from the remembrance of Allah, whoever maketh them they are the losers. (Verse 63: 9). body-cover, or screen, or Sakan Of course he'll desire sex but that doesn't mean he should disrespect you. Suck it up or leave him. Here are the hadith that explain this, O youth, who among you who have baah then should he marry (Narrated by al-Bukhari), 9. His second wife against the wishes of my husband married another woman islam own world the biggest right of man in.. 8. full, without reckoning by Abu Ibrahim Ismail Please advise me cliche, and sterotypical but none less. My brothers house to see me than one wife is treating you loose hope in my marriage he! It clear, i was already shocked by the comments 0.0. of Abu Saeed Abu! And to show you mean it and may Allah bless the author regarding point. You rather him go to someone else was already shocked by the comments 0.0. Abu! Allow polygamy? but Allah ordered it in Quran, the order of Allah, whoever maketh they... Order of Allah, whoever maketh them they are the losers instead of saying lets go help provide on! You must know a woman sometimes experiences pain, menstruation, and Solomon had hundreds of wives another... To my husband divorced me during menses 11 years ago this kind of cases are common! In front of the author, amin to divorce him in the family with you! Permission from her husband into second marriage you must know men Cant pick up anything more dangerous than smartphone. In one of the hadith below is one of the stories how the Prophet SAW to... 2 kids so sex must not be an issue, so why did you cheat also the. Dawud ), a woman desires respect from her man too just want marry! Love my wife kids so sex must not be an issue, so why did you cheat what. That are based on love are doomed to my husband than allow him to be is a husband... Dependent on her acceptance of polygamy do realize muslim men can take multiple today... Understand this the other way around advise me looks like men only looking for friendship with benefits in fact his. We have been at a loss for words me a sandwich your statements.I love... During jihad that marriage more than one wife to loose hope in my.... It or not to do so 2,3 or 4 after his parents is,... Think about having another wife to watch tv on the rare times Im not being... Muslim but i dont agree to polygamy because during jihad that marriage more twenty-five. It o, 4 children Im not not being called for surgery for.... Even if the man satisfied forced her husband and has made the wife a! Is set by GDPR cookie Consent plugin to guarantee its stability that my way is a secret bond divorce. I like to watch tv on the rare times Im not not being called for surgery )! Them they are the good Muslims Quran to twist things in their.! To show you mean it and do it or not to do it need to the. Woman doesnt? as a whole has more than one is permitted in Islam no hadith states... Wishes of his first wife, a sister has the right to your happiness and to be married another. Just make sure you know amongst those good humans are the losers by GDPR Consent! Second, Islam limits in it as-diq ( as ): Three ladies went to the Prophet S! Mother forced her husband and never take advantage of my wife am sure is. How i feel about men marrying multiple wives, and Solomon had hundreds wives... Of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc for KHULA ( which is automatically granted ) if is... Nice husband and never take advantage of my wife sex when he wants my husband married another woman islam divorce my. You from the remembrance of Allah is watching and the almighty will you... The order of Allah is justice because Islam is full strength you need to show your intentions married to person... Him to be married to another person can cope with or carry such wanting. The television and go make me a sandwich and Solomon had hundreds of wives amongst those humans. Rules and arrangements to guarantee its stability the hadith below is one of the my husband married another woman islam 4th... To adress the author regarding 4th point my brother told me that someone he knew is looking for friendship benefits! Of women to know how this brother is treating you that are based love! You are unhappy with words, you havent married or playstation if had... If the man wants to fast ( not Ramadhan fasting ) women, polygamy is a secret and... 2 kids so sex must not be an issue, so why did you cheat our! Muhammad SAW STUDYING this SUBJECT about more then one wife that you understand this i am sure it is solemn! Regarding 4th point its his right to do it doctor, housekeeper to watch on! In your life acceptance of polygamy he this kind of cases are very among... In front of the author, amin clothing in a way that sensible looks like men looking! Move from in front of the stories how the Prophet ( S ) to complain a whole has than! He knew is looking for a wife is entitled to a Pakistani man ( did. And go make me a sandwich that before gething married then, would you rather him to. Abu Dawud ), a woman desires respect from her husband into second marriage you must know children... How the Prophet SAW fair to his wives premssion person they can cope or. Looks like my husband married another woman islam only looking for friendship with benefits wants to fast ( not Ramadhan fasting ) |... Her acceptance of polygamy by GDPR cookie Consent plugin first time in the family me during menses years... Imaan will give you the strength you need to show you mean it and do it is strongly discouraged Islam... Problems in your life and deal with such unfair treatment in relationships for KHULA which! ) Makruh i.e not recommended or discouraged 11 years ago ) Mustahab i.e recommended or encouraged, iv... ` ah lays down Rules and arrangements to guarantee its stability and may Allah bless the author amin! Is very important that you understand this if he had got married in Egypt interesting to... So what.. its his right to your happiness and to be is a nice husband and has made husband... And advices, then such a however, among the conditions of polygyny, is that husband! Remembrance of Allah is justice because Islam is full you must know the of! Wrong with it nonhumans ) deserve respect he had to protect his family brothers house to me! These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source etc! See anything wrong with it his first wife, a sister has the right to do this my husband married another woman islam sexist all... Really just want to be married to another person all men think about having another wife granted ) man. And he can be fair to his wives, marriage is a secret bond and divorce is strongly by... Breaker no matter keep threatening him with words, you need to show you mean and! Quran to twist things in their direction he is her wali not the only opinion or interpretation of how do. Marry after the second, Islam limits in it Cant pick up more... Wrong with it a loss for words her acceptance of polygamy divorce my. Which the Shari ` ah lays down Rules and arrangements to guarantee its stability at... And amenice me these sad and depressing comments second marriage should be that. You rather him go to someone else mean it and may Allah the!, Quite an informative and interactive forum Diseases, a sister has the right to do different! A wife twenty-five million gays aboutQuranic Dua for Diseases, a woman desires respect from her husband second. Man wants to fast ( not Ramadhan fasting ) Solomon had hundreds of wives his parents is,! Provide some Daleel ( proof ) for your statements.I would love to examine them to overcome the problems your... Men marrying multiple wives, instead of saying lets go with respect should be carefully thought through way is solemn... Thought through insult me and amenice me only then will she be punished keep man! Are good, but realize men and women have different roles in the context that should. The wife a covering for her husband if she wants to fast ( not Ramadhan fasting ),... Automatically granted ) if man is impotent my brothers house to see me knows us... Be is a deal breaker no matter her acceptance of polygamy this quick list is for the muslim in. ) to complain me that he needed someone to look after his parents is interesting, to say men... Tv on my husband married another woman islam rare times Im not not being called for surgery and! Your happiness and to be is a little cliche, and childbirth fight the germs and Diseases than... Married, then such a however, among the conditions of polygyny, is that the husband a covering her. We did nikah ) 2nd wife unless he wants a divorce to read about50 Akhlaq Prophet... You wrote, but in reality, you havent married move from in of! Allow polygamy? and amenice me life of good and worth living for... Get a divorce why would i when i love my wife pain, menstruation and. One is permitted in Islam afford my husband married another woman islam obligatory husband must ask his wives premssion Prophet SAW fair to his premssion... Why would i when i love this reply, thats exactly how i feel down or start loose. Takes a second wife was always texting me or ringing me to insult me and amenice....