If not irritable, he may seem dull and boring, not gay and affectionate as the family would like him to be. Experience shows that such an attitude is not helpful to anyone. These are facts out of our experience. Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others. Try to have him bring up the subject himself. Click here for sample pages in .pdf format . Patience and good temper are most necessary. Nevertheless, he was drunk in a short time. They knew they had a host of new friends; it seemed they had known these strangers always. We were burned up.. Second Edition of the Big Book. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. In there he would find companionship and release. And does not science demonstrate that visual proof is the weakest proof? But we must try to repair the damage immediately lest we pay the penalty by a spree. Do not set your heart on reforming your husband. If he does not argue about religion, he will make new friends and is sure to find new avenues of usefulness and pleasure. Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our resentments, or our self-pity? There was something about his eyes. In this connection, can you remain undisturbed if the man proceeds to tell you shocking things? What are the first 164 pages of alcoholics? If you cooperate, rather than complain, you will find that his excess enthusiasm will tone down. With that rejection we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! We have seen others slip when the family came back too soon. Though you are providing him with the best possible medical attention, he should understand that he must undergo a change of heart. His coming was an oasis in this dreary desert of futility. You are willing to overlook his past performances. Even when you understand the malady better, you may feel this feeling rising. Once confused and baffled by the seeming futility of existence, they show the underlying reasons why they were making heavy going of life. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. Telling them what we are trying to do, we make no bones about our drinking; they usually know it anyway, whether we think so or not. The Little Big Book avoids sexist language, and welcomes people of all lifestyles and faiths. You have passed happy evenings together chatting and drinking before your fire. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Physically, I felt fine. After all, our problems were of our own making. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty. Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? They can urge action without arousing hostility. how many words are in the first 164 pages of the big book | May 25 / 2022 | . These work-outs should be regarded as part of your education, for thus you will be learning to live. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. Perhaps he has had delirium tremens. and has helped such large numbers of alcoholic men and women to recover, 5-c. Has there been a desire to make any changes in it? The first principle of success is that you should never be angry. So cooperate; never criticize. He need not, and often should not show it to his alcoholic prospect. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. It was the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon. When our friend related his experience, the man agreed that no amount of will power he might muster could stop his drinking for long. When others showed us that God-sufficiency worked with them, we began to feel like those who had insisted the Wrights would never fly. I wanted to throw up my hands in discouragement, for I saw that I had failed to help my banker friend understand. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink." BB PG 100-101. We must take the lead. If he opened that old affair, he was afraid it would destroy the reputation of his partner, disgrace his family and take away his means of livelihood. The insanity of alcohol returns and we drink again. Being convinced that self, manifested in various ways, was what had defeated us, we considered its common manifestations. He has hired and fired hundreds of men. Work better. If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other. Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his family back. FUN FACT: The word God individually appears 134 times within the first 164 pages of the book of Alcoholics Anonymous. It stirs his imagination. He trembled as he went about, for this might mean ruin, particularly to a person in his line of business. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. We listed people, institutions or principles with whom we were angry. This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once. But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself. But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. 6. He will not impose. One more suggestion: Whether the family has spiritual convictions or not, they may do well to examine the principles by which the alcoholic member is trying to live. We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only. Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas: (a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives. Print a copy of the first side (print page 1 only), then reinsert it into the paper tray of your printer and print page 2. Though not a religious person, I have profound respect for the spiritual approach in such cases as yours. Download it once and read it on your Kindle device, PC, phones or tablets. However, it might be easy to forget that there are many more scattered throughout the first 164 pages of the Big Book. We do not know of many cases where this difficulty lasted long. Many an alcoholic who entered there came away with an answer. Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. We read wordy books and indulge in windy arguments, thinking we believe this universe needs no God to explain it. If he is not communicative, give him a sketch of your drinking career up to the time you quit. Tell him exactly what happened to you. We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. To me these occurrences are phenomena. They will always materialize if we work for them. If we belong to a religious denomination which requires a definite morning devotion, we attend to that also. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasnt there. On each of these occasions we worked with him, reviewing carefully what had happened. Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition. Say you do not want to be a wet blanket; that you only want him to take care of his health. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds. We dont worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. He suddenly realized that in order to save himself he must carry his message to another alcoholic. Big money monkey stickers. We think there are good reasons. Childhood memories rose before me. Had this power originated in him? He looked straight at me. That is our experience. We seldom had friends at our homes, never knowing how or when the men of the house would appear. I couldnt do that. But you can. We will seldom be interested in liquor. Bills Story. After they have seen tangible results, the family will perhaps want to go along. Im a goner. Yet all reasons for not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk! He succumbed to that gay crowd inside, who laughed at their own misfortunes and understood his. You feel he should now be yours. Fear sobered me for a bit. Your candidate may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program. I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated. Base Territorial: A.A. Big Book (164 Pages) Big Book Stories Edition 1; Big Book Stories Edition 2; Mel B's Library; Dick B.'s Library; . They are being fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. I also had the notion that I might find a customer for a car at this place, which was familiar for I had been going to it for years. The experiment went so well that I ordered another whiskey and poured it into more milk. Keep it always in sight that we are dealing with that most terrible human emotion-jealousy. Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. They should be patient, realizing they are dealing with a sick person. Unwilling to be honest with these sympathetic men, we were honest with no one else. We have sometimes reflected more than Jim did upon the consequences. This means trouble, unless the family watches for these tendencies in each other and comes to a friendly agreement about them. I expressed my entire willingness to approach these individuals, admitting my wrong. Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible with respect to the first drink as that of an individual with a passion, say, for jay-walking. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. They were deeply religious people, much shocked by their sons refusal to have anything to do with the church. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power. For the next few years fortune threw money and applause my way. Then came the hospital with unbearable mental and physical suffering. There is a complete failure of the kind of defense that keeps one from putting his hand on a hot stove. Today I own a little company. You can help when no one else can. The door opened and he stood there, fresh-skinned and glowing. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined. It didnt work. Come, whats this all about? I queried. Though we have no religious connection, we may still do well to talk with someone ordained by an established religion. The more hopeless he feels, the better. Perhaps you have such a man in mind. Though you have talked with the family, leave them out of the first discussion. We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. For most alcoholics who are drinking, or who are just getting over a spree, a certain amount of physical treatment is desirable, even imperative. 99 DC Superhero Girls Deluxe Harley Quinn Costume 49. 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